It has been quite a bit since I’ve done a post here due to so much of my life being like a disaster of stress ball of tangled yarn. I decided to do just a random like blog since I wouldn’t even know how to break it all down into separate blog posts. They’d end up with some short and some long so was better to do just like a summarized post of everything. The question always is though, where to start in the chaos.

I suppose we’ll start with the onslaught of apartment related stuff I had to deal with. My manager here hadn’t done an inspection in like 2-3 years then suddenly this year while I dealing with so much he decides he wants to do them again. Luckily I got the assistant manager to do the inspection itself so I think she was more chill about the whole thing. I became more concerned about her little puppy in carrier and where my cat was than to be freaked out during the inspection. I passed the inspection so sigh of relief there. I also got my annual recertification done with minimal panic attacks as they didn’t require my bank statements this year. Although I wish they’d tell me that they don’t need to anymore since it cost me $5 a month to get the paper statements. Highway robbery banks are I tell you.

I lost my home aide agency due to my stupid borderline personality disorder and it’s spikes of anger. The last year of having these temper issues is really annoying me. I’ve asked my therapist to please find ways to help me that my stubborn mind will follow. Anyway, I have no help from a home aide til a new agency gets assigned to me which I don’t know when that’ll be. They constantly telling me how there is a shortage of home aides but there are alot of housecleaning service people out there. So why can’t they work as a home aide? There isn’t a complete difference since many times a home aide isn’t adept to doing the lifting and such to be hands on caregivers. I mean my last one said she had to have back surgery so definitely certain they not equipped for such things. When I simply sweep my floors I feel like I going to collapse as my heart is pounding, my feet kill me more, my legs are ready to buckle, and my asthma acts up alot. People come into my home and see me walking without my walker then probably think “oh she fine” except they dead wrong. The old saying of: Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Basically don’t judge me by what you see and by my moody moments.

I been dealing with losing my best friend for good. I couldn’t deal with the bull of being harassed by someone simply ’cause he friends with her and she hates me. The fact that I had to put my foot down with her and also with him after another incident when I was already dealing with way too much. I despise silent treatment and lame excuses too. A best friend should be messaging you back when you need them or even in general. Hopefully he is doing good in his job, is healthy, and happy. That’s all I going to say about that as all of it was/is very depressing feeling for me.

Lastly was dealing with losing food stamps for first half of this month due to government stuff in this country. I had to figure how to stay on diet while budgeting like crazy. It left me to having to buy canned zero sodium veggies which I swore I’d never buy canned ones. Veggies are so difficult to get nowadays in frozen in store brand so canned is probably better. I don’t put anything on them so they so blah and weird tasting especially the carrots. I glad that got food stamps back but that put so much fear in me about if that dude in office enjoyed the power of it too much. I’m so sick of being kept awake at night worrying about my life. How quickly everything can be taken from me by this government. I expect the government to protect me and others like me but now it’s a scary one to me.

Well that is all for this blog. I appreciate you all for reading this random post that is like all over the place. Please check the Site Updates page on my site to see when I add things and about upcoming things I plan to do for the site. Also please read the Important Note linked on the homepage of my site since it’s a must read if you like my site. Blessed be.